Kate Cousens is a shining example of self-acceptance and empowerment in a world that has traditionally demanded conformity. She is a confidence coach on a mission to remind individuals of their innate greatness, believing in the power of self-discovery to guide them on unique paths. Whether battling self-doubt or imposter syndrome, Kate’s approach is to reveal the potential that already exists within, and she is uniquely qualified to do so because of her own journey. Kate is more than just a guide, she is a relatable companion who shares her imperfections to pave the way for others. Through practical strategies, inspiration, and a supportive atmosphere, Kate helps individuals confidently own their unique qualities. In this exclusive interview, we will delve deeper into her professional journey and get to learn how she is creating a world where self-belief, confidence, and unapologetic living are the norm.
1. What inspired you to become a confidence coach, and how did your personal journey contribute to your expertise in this field?
Throughout my career I have come across so many people who hold themselves back in their careers, businesses, and life generally, through a lack of self-belief and confidence. My favourite quote is Mahatma Gandhi’s “be the change you want to see in the world”, and that is what inspired me to want to do more to help others. I haven’t had an easy personal journey – I left home at 17 and out myself through college (university), I am estranged from my parents, I experienced bankruptcy when I was heavily pregnant, I have been through a messy divorce – yet I have come out the other side of all that stronger and more confident in myself. In showing up as myself, flaws, and all, I hope to inspire others that no matter what life throws their way, they can still move towards their goals and dreams.
2. In a society that often pressures individuals to conform, how do you encourage people to embrace their unique qualities and live authentically?
As I write about in my book ‘Don’t Dim to Fit In’ and speak about on my podcast ‘Can-Do & Confident’ it’s about learning to accept yourself as you are. So many people live in a constant state of feeling like they will be happy when are thinner, or when they have got to the next step of the career ladder, or whatever it is that they think will make them better in some way! A large part of the work I do with clients is getting them to understand who they are by exploring what they value, what their strengths are, what drives them, what gets them excited, etc. Once they know those things, we then work on self-acceptance and breaking what is sometimes a lifetime of self-sabotaging beliefs and behaviours.
3. As someone who has worked with many individuals in your career and business, can you recount a particularly rewarding moment where you witnessed a positive transformation in someone’s confidence?
As a coach, the thing I always say is that the mind that holds the problem also holds the solution. It is so rewarding when someone works out for themselves that the only thing holding them back from the life they want is themselves, and I have been so fortunate to witness that on several occasions with people. A recent example was during a coaching session when I was exploring some self-limiting beliefs with a client, which was that they were not good at speaking in front of people (a common one I see in many people!). Through my gentle, yet persistent, questioning around whether they had any evidence of this being true, they realised that it was story rooted from their childhood when they hadn’t been able to speak in front of the class. When I asked the client to give me examples of when they had spoken in meetings, presentations, or on the telephone, they could reel off many where they had spoken well.
Pointing out to them that therefore the evidence suggested that their belief wasn’t true at all and asking them how it was serving them to keep letting it play out, led to them having a significant lightbulb moment. When this happens, the key is to equip the client with some pattern interrupters the next time that false belief starts to play in their mind (because it will – our mind’s primary job is to keep us safe, and old habits die hard). This can be something like an affirmation which helps them to reframe a self-limiting belief into an empowering one, or wearing an elastic bracelet on their wrist that they ping every time the thought creeps in or using Emotional Freedom Technique (tapping) to interrupt their typical thought process.
4. In your perspective, how does confidence tie into the success of women in business and leadership roles?
This is such an interesting question! I believe they are closely linked and that confident women are more likely to get ahead in business and leadership roles; however, I also see a lot of women who are outwardly confident but are still battling with feelings such as Imposter Syndrome, and a lack of self-belief. These are on-paper very successful women in leadership roles across the world. As someone who has battled with those feelings myself whilst at the same time being promoted into senior leadership roles, I can empathise. Women have many different challenges to men, having to contend with their monthly cycles, pregnancy if they so choose, and then perimenopause and menopause – not to mention the fact that they carry out at least two and a half times more unpaid household and care work than men according to global research by the United Nations*. All of this can impact their confidence to be able to do everything well, so it is important that these previously taboo subjects are recognised and that appropriate support is given to aspiring ambitious women in business – even if that is only allyship. Thankfully there is a lot more openness on these subjects nowadays, but I still see too many organisations refusing to recognise that women do have more challenges to contend with than men in similar positions.
*https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/in-focus/csw61/redistribute-unpaid-work
5. You’ve mentioned practical strategies to boost confidence. Could you highlight one strategy that individuals can incorporate into their daily lives to enhance their self-esteem?
I have SO many strategies! I’ve shared a couple earlier in question 3, but my other go-to strategy is to keep your kudos whenever you achieve anything or positive feedback from someone, no matter how small. Keep a file on your emails that you can pop any ‘thank you’s’ or ‘job well done’ emails from people. If you are on LinkedIn ask for recommendations from colleagues or clients you have worked with. Or even use a Notes app on your phone and keep track of any personal achievements or recognition from people. Don’t be shy in seeking out the recognition when you know you have done something well either! The become your evidence base which you can refer to whenever you may be having a low moment or a wobble of self-esteem. Look back over all of the great things people have said about you or to you, and know that you are amazing!
6. With your strong presence on social media, how do you use these platforms to inspire and connect with your audience, promoting a message of self-belief and empowerment?
I try and regularly show up and share things that I hope may resonate and inspire my followers, mixed in with some real-life stuff like me juggling running a business whilst being a personal unpaid Uber driver to three busy teenagers! Social media can be a dangerous place for people who are lacking in confidence, as people tend to only show the best of themselves on there, so my advice is to curate your feeds carefully. If you find yourself feeling less than or inadequate in some way because of what or who you’re following, be proactive in muting or unfollowing people. Seek out people or companies to follow who inspire and motivate you. By all means give me a follow – I can be a bit random on social media, but I’d love to connect with you there!
