How to Get Unstuck to Create the Life You Want: Interview with Paula Melo Doroff 

Imagine waking up each day with a sense of purpose and direction, feeling truly fulfilled in both your personal and professional life. For many, this vision feels out of reach as they grapple with feelings of being stuck, overwhelmed, or even depressed. These struggles are more common than we might think and often stem from deep-rooted issues like imposter syndrome, lack of clarity about one’s life purpose, or career transitions.

Paula Melo Doroff, a dedicated career and transition coach, understands these challenges intimately. Her expertise in helping people navigate career transitions, overcome imposter syndrome, and find their true calling has changed countless lives for the better. Paula combines personal experience with professional acumen to help her clients break free from what’s holding them back.

Now, we will delve deeper into Paula’s story, her methods, and the powerful impact she has had on her clients. To explore these insights further, we had the pleasure of sitting down with her for an in-depth conversation.

1. Can you share a bit about your professional background and personal journey? What pivotal moments led you to become a career and transition coach?

My professional journey began with significant challenges. Growing up in poverty in Brazil and working various blue-collar jobs, including a few years in Italy, my life until I was 25 was marked by struggle and a sense of being lost, despite harboring deep-seated dreams of achieving something significant. Starting on Wall Street as a receptionist, I worked my way up to become a Vice President at firms like Goldman Sachs and BlackRock. Despite these outward successes and accolades, I often struggled with a sense of inadequacy. My internal self-worth did not align with my achievements, and I was constantly driven to prove myself, grappling with deep sadness and insecurity.

This internal conflict led me to a pivotal realization: my true passion was in helping others navigate their own career transitions and challenges. Leaving Wall Street to become a career and transition coach, I developed a unique ‘inside-out’ coaching process. This approach aligns clients’ inner values with their career goals, fostering genuine success and fulfillment. My personal journey of overcoming adversity now informs my coaching process, enabling me to guide my clients in finding their own path to authenticity and purpose.

2. Based on your experience, what do you believe are the most common reasons that people feel stuck in their careers or personal lives? How can identifying these reasons be the first step toward getting unstuck?

Based on my experience, people often feel stuck in their careers or personal lives due to several common reasons:

1. Lack of Clarity: Many individuals lack a clear vision of what they want or where they’re headed. This can lead to a sense of aimlessness and stagnation. Without clarity, it’s challenging to set meaningful goals or make decisive steps forward.
2. Fear of Change: Fear of the unknown or of making the wrong choice can paralyze people, causing them to remain in unfulfilling situations. This fear often stems from a lack of confidence or past negative experiences.
3. Misalignment with Values: When personal or professional activities don’t align with an individual’s core values, it can lead to dissatisfaction and a feeling of being stuck. This misalignment creates a disconnect between one’s actions and their deeper sense of purpose.
4. Overwhelming from Complexity: Sometimes, people feel stuck because they are overwhelmed by the complexity of their situation or the number of choices available. This can lead to procrastination or indecision.

Identifying these reasons is crucial for getting unstuck. By pinpointing the root causes of their stagnation, individuals can begin to address them systematically. For example, gaining clarity on their goals allows for targeted action plans, while confronting fears with incremental steps can build confidence. Aligning activities with personal values ensures that efforts are meaningful, and breaking down complex situations into manageable tasks helps reduce overwhelm.

In my coaching practice, I work with clients to explore these underlying issues and develop tailored strategies to address them. This process not only helps them understand why they feel stuck but also empowers them to take actionable steps toward meaningful progress and fulfillment

3. How have your own life experiences and challenges shaped the way you approach coaching and helping others to overcome their obstacles?

My own life experiences and challenges have profoundly shaped my approach to coaching and helping others overcome obstacles. Working on Wall Street I experienced firsthand the pressures and insecurities that can accompany success. Despite external achievements, I struggled with feelings of inadequacy and a constant drive to prove myself. This internal conflict made me keenly aware of how deeply our inner struggles can affect our professional and personal lives.

These personal insights inform my coaching approach in several ways:

1. Empathy and Understanding: My background allows me to connect with clients on a profound level, understanding their challenges from a place of personal experience. This empathy helps build a strong, trusting relationship that is crucial for effective coaching.
2. Practical Strategies: Having navigated significant transitions and challenges myself, I bring practical, actionable strategies to my coaching. I know what it takes to move from feeling stuck to achieving one’s goals and can offer realistic, step-by-step guidance.
3. Resilience Building: My journey has taught me the importance of resilience and self-belief. I focus on helping clients build these qualities, drawing on my own experiences to show that overcoming obstacles is possible and that setbacks can be stepping stones to success.
4. Authentic Success: I emphasize the importance of aligning one’s career and personal goals with their core values. My own journey of seeking fulfillment beyond external success underscores the need for authenticity and alignment in achieving true satisfaction.

Overall, my life experiences have equipped me with a deep understanding of the emotional and practical aspects of overcoming obstacles. This allows me to support my clients in a way that is both empathetic and strategically effective, guiding them toward meaningful and sustainable success.

4. Imposter syndrome is a significant issue for many people, especially in high-pressure environments. Can you explain what imposter syndrome is and share some specific strategies you use to help clients overcome it?

Imposter syndrome is a pervasive feeling of inadequacy and self-doubt, despite evidence of one’s achievements and competence. Individuals experiencing imposter syndrome often believe they are frauds and fear being exposed as incapable, which can be particularly pronounced in high-pressure environments.

To help clients overcome imposter syndrome, I employ several targeted strategies:

1. Reframing Success: I work with clients to reframe their understanding of success. We analyze their accomplishments and recognize that these are the result of their skills and hard work, not luck or external factors. This helps shift their internal narrative from ‘I don’t belong here’ to ‘I earned my place.’
2. Evidence-Based Self-Reflection: We create a ‘Success Inventory’ where clients document their achievements, positive feedback, and milestones. This tangible record provides concrete evidence of their competence and helps counteract the feelings of fraudulence.
3. Mindset Shifts: I guide clients through cognitive restructuring techniques to challenge and change the underlying beliefs fueling their imposter syndrome. This involves questioning the validity of their self-doubts and replacing them with affirmations grounded in their achievements and abilities.
4. Building a Support Network: Encouraging clients to seek mentorship and build a supportive network can provide external validation and reassurance. Sharing their experiences with trusted peers can help normalize their feelings and gain perspective on their self-worth.
5. Embracing Growth Mindset: I help clients adopt a growth mindset, focusing on learning and improvement rather than perfection. By viewing challenges as opportunities for growth, clients can alleviate the pressure to ‘perform perfectly’ and reduce the fear of being exposed as inadequate.

These strategies not only address the symptoms of imposter syndrome but also work to build lasting self-confidence and resilience. By combining evidence-based reflection with mindset shifts and support systems, clients can overcome imposter syndrome and embrace their achievements with a renewed sense of self-assurance.

5. Self-awareness is often touted as a key to personal and professional growth. How do you help your clients develop greater self-awareness, and why do you believe it is so important?

Self-awareness is crucial for personal and professional growth because it allows individuals to understand their strengths, values, and motivations, leading to more informed decisions and fulfillment.

To help clients develop self-awareness, I use several key strategies:

1. Reflective Exercises: I guide clients through journaling and self-assessment to uncover their core values and behavior patterns.
2. 360-Degree Feedback: I incorporate feedback from peers and self-assessments to reveal how clients are perceived and identify gaps between self-perception and external views.
3. Strengths and Challenges Analysis: We analyze strengths and challenges to set actionable goals and understand their unique capabilities.
4. Mindfulness Practices: Techniques like mindfulness meditation help clients tune into their thoughts and feelings for deeper self-understanding.
5. Personal Vision Crafting: I assist in creating a personal vision statement that aligns with their true values, serving as a guide for their decisions and goals.

Self-awareness is the foundation for making choices that align with one’s true self, enhancing decision-making and relationships. By fostering this insight, clients can break through barriers and live more fulfilling lives.  For individuals who are ready to explore their true potential and achieve meaningful growth, I’m here to support them on their journey